Stuff happening today…

Justin Bieber arrested for being a complete idiot

That little a**hole Justin Bieber is once again in the spotlight, this time being arrested for drinking under the influence and drag-racing along Miami Beach. Chalk that one off as one of his more impressive acts of idiocy.

He’s currently being detained, with droves of paparazzi awaiting him outside because they live hollow lives. He’s expected to serve a maximum of one night in prison, two weeks in rehab and another few weeks splashed all over the tabloids.

Juan Mata’s move to Old Trafford imminent as heli-pad is readied at Carrington

In one of the more shocking transfers in recent years, two-time Chelsea ‘player of the year’ Juan Mata looks set to complete his £40M transfer to David Moyes’ struggling Manchester United side.

The move is expected to be completed today, with Mata expected to fly into United’s Carrington training facility via helicopter to complete his medical. It has been widely reported that Mata was gagged and blind-folded for the entire of last night as United embarrassingly lost to Sunderland on penalties in the League Cup semi-final, lest he be deterred from signing for a team that are a lot worse than he feared.

matagif

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